dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
