so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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