i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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