Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize