Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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