I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this boner is exhausting
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
