btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
