I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If I die, sorry about rent.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
