can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
