Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
