I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
