I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
