And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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