Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
