Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
