This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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