Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
