It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
