I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
