I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
