Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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