Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
