You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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