I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
