tell your sister to shave her snatch
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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