Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
