love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
