i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
