he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
