I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
