Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
