Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
