Whod you bang
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
