grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
smell my finger.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
