I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
