The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
