You're my little dorito
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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