and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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