Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
