Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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