I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
