I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
