This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
