Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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