I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
