what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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