oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
