I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
