i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
