hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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