The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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