Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
tell me about the eggs
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
