This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
